There was a time when I was good, but there are witches in the woods.

[blindfighter]

It's around 630 when Matt stops pretending to be asleep.

Though that's a lie, just a tad--Matt has slept. On and off, on his silk sheets and curled up naked with another man in what feels like forever. It's nice, and for a few hours it lasts. It really and truly lasts, and Matt can hear the steady beating of Tim's heart. He can hear every creak as his bones adjust, can still smell scotch and bourbon as he exhales in his sleep. It's not the kind that's overwhelming, it's natural and in a way comforting.

But it's still another person and Matt Murdock is used to being alone. He's used to not getting close.

He's used to one night stands and relationships that barely last a month, if that. He's used to Foggy clapping him on the shoulder and telling him there'll be more.

He's used to going to their place. This is the first time he's brought someone home.

Someone here.

He's brought people over, but not for a one night stand. This is a different circumstance in many ways--mostly that they're going to see each other again. They're going to pass each other in the courtrooms even if they're not going to actively see each other although, if Matt's being honest, he does want to. It had been one of the best lays in a while.

And that's how, at exactly 6:40 in the morning, Matt Murdock decides he can't get used to it just yet. So instead, he gets to work. Turns the alarm off to let Tim sleep in, gets half-dressed (socks, slacks and a dress shirt, the first few buttons undone and the collar a little rumpled), and is in the kitchen. He gets to work.

If this is a one-night stand with special circumstances, he may as well make breakfast. That includes half a grapefruit for each of them, fresh fruit, and Matt himself is in the middle of cooking up some of the bacon and eggs. Simple and scrambled, but if there's one thing Matt can do better than most thanks to his olfactory senses being heightened, it's cook.

Comments

[comfortablyerect]

"What I'm sayin' is that we should get drunk as quickly as possible so I have an excuse to stay here if they do call." Tim's teasing too, mostly. Logically, he knows that he probably should make himself unavailable the rest of the night. But really, he'd like to do just that. He'd like to stay holed up with Matt all night long. Just them and some liquor and some thai food.

Beggars can't be choosers, though, and Tim will take what he can get. Whatever Matt's willing to give him before this entire thing crashes and burns. Before Matt finds somebody prettier and more interesting and less broken.

It's only a matter of time, honestly.

"You're not," Tim says, like he's making a promise. He turns his head to kiss the corner of Matt's jaw, then the side of his neck. Honestly, he wouldn't mind if the night just turned into sex against the kitchen counter. But this is about Matt, about keeping him occupied and helping him forget the shitty day he's had. It's not about what Tim wants.

"I'm all yours tonight."

[blindfighter]

"That sounds promising," Matt says surprisingly smoothly, and he leans over to kiss the top of the other's head. He could definitely do with food and sex and maybe a movie, if Tim didn't mind listening to the hearing impaired versions of things.

Tim doesn't seem to mind anything with Matt, and Matt likes that.

He grabs what he needs from the kitchen and winds up sighing as he sits down--it takes him a brief pause, just because he feels stiff from all of the adventures the previous night, but the couch is comfortable and he doesn't even think twice about leaning into Tim once he's situated, too.

"Does it bother you, sometimes? That you might be chasing after someone who's been falsely accused?"

[comfortablyerect]

Tim hums agreeably, and for a moment, he stops what he's doing and turns his head to look at Matt. To watch him as he moves, graceful in a way that even seeing people don't usually possess. It's probably awful, all things considered, but he likes being able to watch Matt without being watched in turn. He takes comforting knowing he can't be caught staring.

God. It's going to blow when this has to end.

He pours the wine — not really his style, but probably better for soothing and setting a relaxing tone than hard liquor would be. And anyway, he's not really picky about anything when he's spending time with Matt. He pushes Matt's glass towards him until it touches the other's hand, then settles back into the couch and Matt's side.

"No," he says, and it's an automatic answer, mostly. He frowns. "I guess I don't really think about it. It gets messy when you start doubtin' the system like that. I gotta trust that the cops are doin' their job. And if they don't, then I gotta trust that you're gonna do yours."

[blindfighter]

He notices, the way Tim pushes the glass towards him. Until it touches his fingers, so very lightly, and that's the reason why he smiles wide as he does when he picks up the glass.

Carefully, with one hand still holding the wine glass, Matt loosens the knot on his tie and sighs heavily.

"There's a lot of corruption, no matter what side you're on," He states ambiguously. "It would be easier if everything was just black and white like that." He envies Tim, he realizes. Matt envies that Tim can't afford to think like he does.

"Do you consider yourself a religious person?"

[comfortablyerect]

Tim, on the other hand, doesn't notice that he does it. (Though he definitely notices the way Matt smiles. That's hard to miss.) It's a habit from spending so many nights at Matt's and having so many drinks and breakfasts together. As second nature as turning on the light when he walks in the room.

He's watching Matt again, watching the fingers on his tie and the hand around his wine class, before picking up his own, taking a sip. Wine isn't likely to chase away the bad dreams — he'll just have to have a glass or two of bourbon before bed.

His lips press together briefly. He wants to explain that you can't second guess your orders when you're with the military. You can't see the gray areas, it has to be black and white, because you can't live with yourself if it's not. But there is not enough wine in existence to prompt him to talk about that, so he stays quiet.

"Not particularly," he murmurs, taking another drink of wine. "You know they say there's no atheists in the foxhole? I think that's true. But I ain't in a foxhole anymore."

[blindfighter]

"I've always wondered how many people deal with that," he states, and there's a note of truth. He can't pretend to know that Tim's been through, can't even imagine. He knows it's hell and he knows he can't really do anything to assuage anything. Any guilt, anything like that.

He's not in a foxhole anymore.

Matt takes a few moments to sip at his wine, and wonders if he should keep these thoughts to himself. Wonders if, maybe, he shouldn't ruin anything because this is good. He was just fantasizing about all of this being casual and low-key.

Instead, Matt Murdock ruins it by letting himself say it:

"Is that why you drink?"

[comfortablyerect]

Tim's heart skips a beat. Other than that, nothing betrays the startle and unease he feels at that question. His breathing remains remarkably even, and he doesn't allow himself to shift uncomfortably like he'd want to.

He's very good at keeping up appearances, at hiding his problems, but Matt's noticed anyway. Of course he has.

They're not dating. They're not even exclusive, and the fading hickeys on his neck that weren't made by Matt's mouth says as much. Hell, they've known each other for a month and a half. He doesn't owe Matt an explanation or an answer. But he's relatively certain that if he chose not to answer, Matt would accept that, drop the subject, because that's the kind of person he is. And it's possibly the only thing that keeps Tim from ignoring the question outright.

It's a good thing they're not dating. Tim doesn't deserve to date someone like Matt Murdock.

"I'm from Kentucky," he says, looking into the wine glass. Now he really wishes it were bourbon. "Everybody has a glass before bed. Everybody takes their coffee with liquor."

[blindfighter]

Matt can see Tim. Not physically, but see him. The real Tim, the one he's hiding. The broken and the battered fighter desperately trying to forget. Trying to drink, trying to pick up boys. Trying to distract himself with his work.

Matt's own heart flutters. It's not out of pity, but of admiration. Tim has held on so long, clinging to everything that's good because there's not a whole lot left in this world. That's something Matt can see--that's something he relates to. And Tim deals with it in the way he knows how: drinking and probably fighting, too. Matt does less drinking but more fighting, he's pretty sure.

"Sure," He says, and that's all that needs to be said--because he has set his wine down and his food down and Matt's hand has found Tim's shoulder, running up the other's neck, pressing softly against the bruises that weren't made by him. He's listening, now, far more than he usually does.

He's broached enough, he thinks, it's time to make sure Tim doesn't panic or run away. Matt couldn't take that tonight.

His hand reaches Tim's jaw, and he spends time moving his thumb over that jawline he's found far more attractive than any other guy. He leans forward, and the kiss he gives Tim is slow and soft and light. He tastes like wine and pad thai, and Matt loves it.

[comfortablyerect]

Matt doesn't pry. He doesn't push or badger, doesn't pursue further questioning. Here, now, he's not Matt Murdock: attorney at law. He's just Matt, with that soft voice and a tendency to drip over his words, and a smile that never fails to brighten the whole damn room. A better person than Tim could ever hope to deserve.

He lets out a slow breath, a sigh of relief. His problems are not something he's entirely ready to talk about. Hell, he doesn't know if he'll ever be ready to talk about them. He can think about the nightmares and PTSD and potential alcoholism all day long, but the moment he says it out loud--

If he talks about it, it's real. It's actually happening. And he'd rather cope the best he can on his own than admit something's wrong.

Matt's hand touches his shoulder, then his neck. His pulse is thumping hard in his throat, feeling not unlike a cornered animal, and he's sure Matt can feel it in his fingertips. The bruises don't ache so much anymore, but the pressure makes his eyes close anyway, his lips part. Briefly, he wonders if Matt cares. They've never discussed it, but he wonders if Matt's bothered by Tim sleeping with other people. Or, if maybe, Matt just sees him as convenient and easy and doesn't care who else has their hands on him.

That would probably be better, anyway. Less messy than getting attached. Matt's never said anything to the contrary, so it's probably safe to assume.

He doesn't realize his jaw is tense until Matt touches it, and he relaxes immediately. It's easy to lean in, to kiss Matt back. To pretend like the earlier conversation didn't ever happen. This is easier, the way Tim prefers it, and with his wine glass still in one hand, the other finds Matt's waist, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.

[blindfighter]

He can smell the wine, smell Tim, from his laundry detergent to the no-name brand of aftershave to the fact that he's sure Tim has emptied a clip at a range a few days ago. It's heightened, too, and he can feel Tim pulling at his shirt.

He considers that an invitation. Matt's careful not to spill a single drop of Tim's wine as he moves his hands down Tim's frame, feeling every inch of him before swinging his leg over, nearly straddling him. One foot is between the back of the couch and Tim's side, his other leg is dangling off of the couch, and he's still trailing his fingers down Tim's sides, stopping only to pull the tucked in shirt out of his slacks and begin to slowly undo it.

This is much better.

[comfortablyerect]

Little by little, Tim begins to relax. Stops feeling less caged, less trapped, and more at ease beneath Matt's lips and touch. He's found that Matt's extraordinarily good at soothing his nerves and making him feel wholly safe even before he realizes he felt unsafe.

He manages to set his wine glass and food out of the way before he can get too distracted. Maybe he didn't expect things to shift to sex right away, but he's not complaining. He's definitely not complaining. This is so much better than talking about Tim's problems or how shitty Matt's day was.

There's nothing rushed about this. Nothing desperate or too rough yet, and Tim doesn't mind it. Matt's going slow, fingers sliding deftly over shirt buttons, and Tim takes his time sliding his hands up Matt's chest and shoulders and neck, fingers pausing on the rims of his glasses

It's a silent question. He likes being able to see Matt's face, see his eyes. He's never seen anything prettier than Matt without his glasses.

[blindfighter]

Matt swallows heavily, not because he's nervous but because it's an intimate gesture. He knows what Tim wants based on feel alone and he nods the slightest of nods, allowing him to slip them off.

"It normally freaks people out," He murmurs. He probably said something along the same lines before, when they were too drunk and too sloppy, and sightless eyes fall on where he guesses Tim is in his own world on fire.

His smile is boyish, almost nervous, and he gets like that every time when he's with Tim and doesn't have the sunglasses. It's a trait that's uniquely Gutterson.

Bruised knuckles brush against the other's jaw for a moment before he undoes the last button of Tim's shirt and he pushes it back not with haste, but at a decent pace, and his hands go for his own tie next, sliding the knot and undoing it completely.

"We'll eat later."

[comfortablyerect]

It's not the first time Matt has said something like that, or the second, but it doesn't matter. Those sightless eyes are as much of a part of Matt as his boyish smile or bruised knuckles or soft voice, and Tim loves every bit of it. The eyes and the smile and the knuckles and the voice. He loves every big of Matt Murdock.

God. He is so royally screwed. But all he can focus on is Matt's hands, the touch to his jaw and the fingers that finish unbuttoning his shirt.

"Not me," he murmurs, and it's an assurance, turning his head to kiss the back of Matt's hand briefly before he pulls it away. His heart skips uneasily at his chest, just at the sight of Matt kneeling over him, glasses off and eyes wide, so devastatingly pretty and open. So fucking gorgeous and so fucking unfair.

His hands find Matt's hips, fingers tugging at his shirt until it's untucked, slipping beneath just to touch the skin at his waist. His hands trail around the other's back, fingers dipping just beneath the waistband of the back of his pants.

If there's one thing he's absolutely certain of, it's that Matt Murdock has the best ass in the entirety of Hell's Kitchen.

[blindfighter]

The glasses come off and Matt can't help the smile that spreads across his face. He can bury it, though, by pressing his face into Tim's neck and kissing at the sensitive skin, moving over old and fading bruises he can feel are there.

Of course they're not exclusive, but Matt doesn't want to start any potential drama. Not rock the boat--he wants Tim on his back on his couch with the smell of coconut curry and pinot noir. He wants Tim.

There's a hitch, though--Tim moves his hands up Matt's shirt, a place dangerously near a broken rib courtesy of the Russians, and he flinches. Just until the other puts a hand near his ass and he lets out a very small, breathy half-moan.

Fuck it, he thinks, he wants to give all of himself to Tim so that maybe he'll give back. It's something Matt can hope for, and he sits up, shifts his weight, and slowly begins unbuttoning his own shirt.

He's cut, of course, thanks to his rigorous training regime and running around Hell's Kitchen, and there's a few blossoming bruises, some older than the others, the largest one being where his rib is broken. He doesn't say anything, doesn't comment--he'll have an excuse ready if Tim asks, but for now, he's letting his shirt fall next to the couch and already going for Tim's pants.

[comfortablyerect]

Tim's head tilts back and he groans low in his throat at the feeling of Matt's mouth on his neck. It took him awhile to learn that Matt knew when he had bruises, on his throat or otherwise, even if he can't see them. Maybe he can feel their warmth, feel the heat of the blood pooling beneath skin. He never thought Matt's other senses were that heightened, but sometimes, like when Matt's fingers find the blossoming bruises above his collarbone, he thinks otherwise.

Matt's never taken his shirt off during sex, and Tim's never questioned it. Honestly, he's never thought much of it, because their sexual encounters are usually desperate and frantic and in some sort of half-dressed state anyway.

But things are slow now, and he still doesn't think much of Matt unbuttoning his shirt. He's too occupied with the other's belt, getting it undone and pulling it through the loops. He only looks up once Matt's abandoned his shirt, and when he does, the first thing he notices is abs.

He already knew Matt was ripped. He could feel the muscles through his shirt when they were close, whether it was fucking or leaning against each other when they were too drunk to stand upright. But there's a difference between feeling and seeing. Especially since he couldn't ever feel the god-awful bruises that litter Matt's abdomen.

"Wait--" Of course he has questions. Who wouldn't have questions about their blind lawyer not!boyfriend looking like he lost a bad fist fight? He puts a hand on Matt's shoulder, pushes him back just a little so he can get a better look at the bruising. It's not all fresh, he realizes. Some are recent, but some are old and fading like the marks on Tim's throat. Though, he reckons Matt didn't get these from fucking someone else.

He wants to ask. He's concerned. But Matt didn't pry when Tim didn't want to pursue the potential alcoholism line of questioning, and it's pretty clear Matt doesn't want to discuss this, otherwise they would have already. Matt didn't push about Tim's abuse of liquor, so Tim won't pry about Matt's Fight Club status.

Not yet, anyway.

Instead, what he ends up doing is pushing Matt away further, back against the back of the couch, and straddling his lap carefully. This way, Matt doesn't have to exert as much energy, and Tim can do most of the work. His hands find the other's shoulders and he rocks his hips down slowly, cock already hard through his pants, gaze locked on Matt's face.

[blindfighter]

It's not that Tim never takes control--they switch, and nicely, Matt thinks--but this is a different kind and for the first time in a while Matt feels like he's vulnerable, his red tinted shades off and his shirt off and someone else guiding him, someone else moving on top of him.

Hands curl across his own shoulders and Matt gives a very slight wince, but it's just from the way Tim settles and it's gone almost immediately once Tim grinds against him. It's hard to focus on much of anything other than his own dick getting hard.

Amazing, how fast Tim can turn him on. All it takes is a few kisses and he's good to go.

His gaze is unfocused but not uninterested, staring blankly at the ceiling while he exhales sharply and his hands move. They start at Tim's chest and slowly move their way up, touching, feeling, stopping only to press his thumbnail gently over Tim's nipple. His hands stop only when they're in Tim's hair, pulling him as close as Tim will allow, and he pleased smile flits across his face for a brief moment.

"Let me touch your face," he asks, thumbs hovering over his jaw.

[comfortablyerect]

This isn't how they normally are. Normally, it's fast and rough and desperate, no matter who's on top. Teeth and fingers leave bruises on each other's bodies, hands gripping hair and loud moans wringing from throats as they beg for more. Normally, by now, they'd already be fucking. They'd already be so close to coming.

But this is different. They're sober, tasting of wine. Matt's shirtless and without his glasses and Tim can see the bruises along his rib cage, and he's careful to avoid jostling them. He wonders, suddenly, how many times Matt held him down and fucked him hard when his bones had to be aching.

This time, it's slow. It's slow and they're vulnerable and Tim can feel his heart thumping hard in his chest, not from arousal, but just from Matt's gentle touch. He's sure the other can feel it, and for once he doesn't care.

He doesn't reply out loud, but he puts his hands over Matt's, pressing them closer to his own face, a very definite yes. He never feels more exposed and raw than when Matt's fingers are tracing his face. He feels like this way, Matt can see him better than anybody else has ever been to. He doesn't have the hands of a lawyer, but a fighter, and that slight roughness to his palms makes a little more sense in relation to the bruising.

[blindfighter]

He's tired, if he's being honest. He's tired and worn out and no longer wound up from being angry. Now he's left with that feeling of numbness when he looses and it can't be worked out in the gym, now it's Tim that's comforting him.

Matt can't slow down, he's never slowed down, and Tim being somewhat gentle with him is the encouragement he finally needs.

He takes his time, and his hands roam around Tim's face. He's touching the other's cheek bones, feather-light, and he rolls his hips up as he does so, gaze still bland and looking at the ceiling. He can see Tim like this better, and even as they're fucking around, even though Matt's hips rise and fall, he speaks and feels like he sounds like a child.

"You have the best jawline I have ever encountered."

[comfortablyerect]

Earlier today, he was concerned with the tightness in Matt's jaw, the white-knuckled grip on his cane, the controlled quiet of his voice. All those things he used to see in his daddy, just a land mine waiting to be stepped on. And Tim kept waiting to misstep, to move the wrong way, say the wrong thing. A reaction and anticipation set even deeper in him than all the military training he's received.

The rage that ebbs and flows. He saw it in Matt. But it's gone now.

Now, Tim can relax. He can focus on Matt's fingers on his face, feather-light, and the way his hips roll upwards, fiction against Tim's dick that makes his lips part, a groan low in his throat.

"Could say the same thing about your ass," he murmurs, gaze glued to Matt's face.

It's a shame, really, that he can't reach Matt's ass in this position. But that's fine, because his hands drop down and he gets Matt's pants undone, slipping a hand in to curl around his cock and stroke slowly.

[blindfighter]

Something happens.

It's not the casual note to his voice, not the way he murmurs, and while the words are nice that's not what it is, either. Something in the tone, something in the way Tim pitched his voice. Innocuous but it sends shivers down Matt's spine and his whole body tenses.

He can't help himself. Tim strokes his cock and Matt lets go of the other's face, hand going lightning quick to the other's wrist to temporarily stop him, lips parted slightly. When he speaks, his voice is strangely gravelly.

"Say that again," He requests, and still curled around Tim's wrist. "That exact same way."

[comfortablyerect]

Suddenly, Matt's fingers are around Tim's wrist, stopping him, and Tim goes still. The grip isn't tight, not off-putting. Just confusing. For a moment, he think Matt just wants to be more in control, and it's not like Tim would complain about that. That, generally, is something he welcomes completely.

But then Matt speaks, and Tim's brows arch mildly.

"Fishin' for compliments, Murdock?"

He doesn't wait for an answer before complying, though. He drops his voice, and repeats what he said in the same exact tone, same murmur, same volume.

"Could say the same thing about your ass."

This time, he's watching Matt's expression more closely.

[blindfighter]

He doesn't have time to watch for very long. Matt bites down on his own lip, dragging teeth over it, his chest rising and falling with a little more energy than he has before.

Something in that tone just plain drives Matt wild, and he's not even sure what it is. His senses, maybe, but it hasn't happened before. None of this has, really, and he sits up to the best of his ability, ignoring his broken ribs, and lets go of that hand on Tim's wrist to grab at Tim's hair, roughly pulling him closer for a hungry kiss.

His hips move without him realizing it, right into the palm of Tim's hand.

[comfortablyerect]

Whatever it is about the way he talks does something, and it's something very favorable. He's not sure if it's his tone or the inflection or the way he murmurs. He doubts it's the words themselves, because this isn't the first time he's talked about Matt's ass. Either way, he makes note to explore it more later, test the waters.

Because whatever it is has Matt pulling his hair, yanking him forward and it leaves Tim moaning into the kiss, returning it eagerly. His fingers curl a little tighter around Matt's cock, stroking in the same slow way despite the hastiness of the kiss.

He's still very aware of the bruises on Matt's body, the tenderness of it. But he trusts that Matt knows his own limitations, knows how much he can take.

The thing is, he trusts Matt a lot, in many ways. He probably shouldn't be trusting the lawyer he's been sleeping with for a month and a half who has mysterious bruises all over his body, but that's exactly what he's doing.

[blindfighter]

That moan causes Matt to moan as well, though it also has something to do with the hand on his cock and how Tim is stroking it. It's driving Matt crazy, too, and he doesn't shy away from biting at the other's lips, rough and heavy and this time, it's not fueled by anger. This time it's just lust, and Matt manages to sit up enough so that Tim is still in his lap. His hands move to Tim's waist and he pulls the other roughly, closer onto him, and finally breaks away the kiss only to bite at the other's jaw, stubble pressing against skin.

"Yeah," he murmurs, distant and seemingly to himself as deft, swift hands are moving down Tim's body and into his jeans, dipping down the other's backside and grabbing Tim's ass with enough force to bruise.

[comfortablyerect]

It's not slow and tender anymore, but that's okay. That's more than okay. Because Matt's hard and hot in his hand, mouth rough and biting against his own, that hand tight in his hair. Because this is how he likes it, as much as he liked the other's gentle fingers on his chest, and Matt knows it.

Matt always knows just what to do. Just how to make every single touch feel so much more intense than it should be. Tim has never had better sex in his entire life. But somehow, that's not the only reason he keeps coming back for more.

His head tilts back, Matt's teeth and stubble scraping along his jawline, and before Tim can stop it, a soft, needy whimper escapes his throat. The more Matt touches him the more his grip loosens on his self-control. And each time they're like this, it seems to happen quicker and quicker. And Tim can't get enough of it.

"Fuck," he groans, twisting his wrist just so as Matt leaves finger-shaped bruises on his ass, stroking just a little bit faster now.